Built by a San Antonio Riverwalk bar owner

Turn happy tables into 5-star Google reviews.

QR codes on every table. AI funnel. Happy customers go straight to Google, complaints come to you privately. The same system that took my own bar from 3.9 → 4.6 stars in 3 months.

Live results · Thirsty Aztec · 200 River Walk

3.9 ★4.6 ★

+127
New 5-star reviews
-23
Complaints intercepted
3 mo
From install to results
01 — How it works

Three steps. Zero new hardware.

No new tablets. No staff training. No app downloads. Just QR codes and a smart funnel that knows where to send each customer based on their mood.

01

QR on every table

We design branded QR codes for your venue and ship printed table tents (first 50 included). Customers scan with their phone — no app needed.

02

AI funnel decides

Happy customers get routed directly to your Google Business page to leave a 5-star review. Unhappy ones get routed to a private feedback form that comes straight to you — so you can fix it before it goes public.

03

Monthly report

Every month you get a PDF of new reviews, your rating change, what's working, and what flagged customer complaints we caught privately. 5 min read.

02 — What's included

Everything you need in 7 days.

$497 setup fee

  • Custom QR codes designed for your venue
  • First 50 table tents printed and shipped
  • AI funnel trained on your bar's voice + offerings
  • Google Business Profile direct integration
  • Private feedback form with email + SMS alerts
  • Hosted dashboard — review activity, ratings, trends
  • Live in 7 days from signup
  • 30-day satisfaction guarantee

$79/month after that

  • Hosting + dashboard maintained
  • Monthly performance report PDF
  • Unlimited reviews routed
  • Email + Slack alerts on negative feedback
  • Reorder table tents anytime (at cost)
  • Cancel anytime — no contracts
03 — Pricing

Simple. No tiers.

One price. One product. Cancel anytime. We win when your stars go up.

// Flagship Plan
Setup
$497
one-time
Monthly
$79
per location
7-day setup No contracts Cancel anytime
Book a 15-min demo →
04 — Common questions

Answered honestly. By the operator who built it.

How fast can you set this up?

7 days from signup. The QR codes take 2 days to design + print + ship. The AI funnel + dashboard goes live within 48 hours of you sending me your venue info.

What if my customers don't scan QR codes?

Post-COVID, 80%+ of restaurant customers will scan a well-placed QR (per Toast 2024 data). We design the table tents to be impossible to ignore. If your scan rate is low after 30 days, we'll redesign for free.

Do I need new hardware or POS integration?

Nope. Zero hardware. Zero POS work. The whole thing runs through customer phones + your existing Google Business profile + a private dashboard you log into from any browser.

Can I customize the questions the funnel asks?

Yes. We start with a proven template, then tune it to your venue's voice over the first 2 weeks. You can rewrite any question at any time from the dashboard.

What about HIPAA / privacy / TCPA?

Nothing collected requires HIPAA. Email/phone collected only if customer voluntarily submits private feedback. No SMS marketing sends without opt-in. All data is yours — export or delete anytime.

What if I run multiple locations?

$79/mo per location. Same dashboard shows all venues side-by-side so you can spot which spot is generating which reviews. Volume discount at 3+ locations — ping me.

// Ready to fix your stars?

15 minutes. Live demo. No pitch deck.

I'll show you exactly how the funnel works using my own Thirsty Aztec dashboard. Real data, real customers, real complaints intercepted. Then you tell me if it's a fit.

Book my 15-min demo →
Or email joel@thirstyaztec.com